SORRY to keep banging on about feeling ill but I always feel the need to keep a record of the progression of an illness D: OF COURSE the thought lurking in my mind is what if it’s something serious even tho idrk what it could be – but what if?? 

Also everything else in life seems bigger and scarier when you’re not feeling well. The prospect of going back to the shop next week seems monumental. I hate the toll illness takes on my brain – I must have a low-grade fever or something, because everything seems weird and murky and nothing feels right. I have a song stuck in my head and it’s too loud and it’s bothering me. I’m looking at my dash and everything seems distant and unconnected to me. My dreams for the past few nights feel shallow and hot, but so does being awake rn. I can’t tell how much of this is caused by being ill, or the tricks being ill plays on my mind. And I don’t want to have a fever, because that means I’m getting worse, rather than better, and that’s worrying, which sends me into another downward spiral. Can’t drink, can’t speak, can’t move – couldn’t do anything but stare at the wall for over an hour, so I guess I’ve improved a little from that stage.

UGH health anxiety is NO FUCKIN’ JOKE, especially when you’re actually feeling ill /).(