What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.

Sylvia PlathThe Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.
(via thequotejournals)

I used to feel like this throughout my 20s, but then somehow when I hit 30 I suddenly, and without really knowing how or why, felt at peace with myself. I’ve come to accept that, while I have talents, they’re not talents that are conducive to ~~success~~ in a mainstream context. I could probably have successfully finished my PhD, if things had been different, but would I really have wanted to be an academic? Would I ever have been able to achieve great things in academia? Probably not, because even though I’m a reasonably smart person, and like the idea of elements of an academic life, I lack certain personality traits that are conducive to advancing up the ladder (or, indeed, any ladder in any field). BUT y’know what, I’m doing something now that doesn’t use any of my education or academic experience, and I love it, because it caters to some of my most important needs and the parts of my personality that are the most fundamental to me. Maybe it can’t last forever, and I know I’m in a very fortunate position to be able to do it at all, but well, why shouldn’t I take advantage of my situation while I can? Maybe some outsiders (particularly older ones) would think I was ~wasting my education~, or even wasting my brain by not having a job that really uses the bits of it that I can use best – but fuck those people. It’s none of their business, and I’m happy from within myself, which is basically all I ever wanted out of life anyway. 

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