waitingformargo:

tipsylane:

You’ve put together your new band on the internet?
C: Yes, I tweeted, “Hey, who would like to be in a band with me?” It was great, a lot of people have come forward.
How many?
C: 1000. There were 500 serious ones, some sent only crazy shit, nude photos and so on …
Good nude photos?
C: Yes, there was a girl who squinted, she was hot. In any case, 1000 was impractical, so I broke it down to 100 and let them audition in a London pub. Then we were at six. Then we went for a drink, after that there were three.
You’ve therefore decided according to that, with whom you can drink?
C: Yes. You never know, some people go completely off.
What are the three things that you think about the most?
C: Oh, my children, frankly. And well, it depends. I do a lot of different things and I’m always completely absorbed by what I’m doing, so for example, today I only think about my band and this crazy, surreal press thing.
1. My family, 2. The Libertines, 3. The Jackals. My filters are not working so well, I tend to perceive everything simultaneously.
Does it bother you to be asked about Pete Doherty all the time?
C: If it bothered me, I would have gone mad a long time ago…
(A woman in tabby patterned pants and a leopard top sits down on a couch two metres away from us, Carl eyes her in a latently distressed way)
…excuse me, I was distracted for a moment. I was trying to find out which animal she wants to be. You got an idea? (He’s staring at the patterned lady)
You’ve forgotten the question, haven’t you?
C: Yeah…no…everything that has happened is part of my journey. People tend to concentrate on this aspect only.
OK. My promo sheet here also says that the studio where you recorded was across from a doctor’s office for porn stars?
C: Yes. It was not very glamorous, it was a health center where they were checked whether they have sexually transmitted diseases.
Do you watch porn at all?
C: In general…yes, of course, but I didn’t recognize any of the patients, if that’s what you mean.
What’s your favourite porn film?
C: I do not know … Do you ask that everyone?
Hey, what did you expect after making an easy target of yourself with your previous answer…
C: Okay, sure. (Thinks seriously and intensively) I need to think about that. What’s your favorite porn film?
I do not watch porn.
C: All right. I currently feel quite schizophrenic, which is fine, because if I make plans, I mess it up usually. Right now I have two bands, two albums, two tours. Two children.
I listened to the Libertines and the whole indie stuff about ten years ago, what has happened in the meantime? Anything?
C: It was a pretty empty time. The world is changing so fast, it’s as if you are in a kind of vacuum. Previously, there were more scenes, so even the Hipster scene now seems like such an internet thing, in LA one sees 6000 beards for 5000 people.
What does your typical fan look like?
C: A friend of mine once said, the difference between our fans and those of “real” rock bands is that ours show poems rather than tits. But that’s okay, I like poems.
I do love the comments under your YouTube videos. A lot of people seem to wish for a romance between you and Pete Doherty.
C: Yes, there are many supporters of this idea. They simply objectify us men… no, it’s really quite strange.
Is there fanfiction about you?
C: Yes, I just wanted to mention, there are some pretty explicit stories.
Do you sometimes sit there together, by candlelight, and read them to each other? As you’re slowly getting closer?
C: Yes, over a bottle of wine … no, not really.
We still need to talk about something more serious, that will not do. Do you have a doctorate or something?
C: Yes I have. I received an honorary doctorate.
Oh right, you’re the doctor. Doctor Carl Barat. It’s probably been a while since you needed to apply for a job?
C: Yes and no, but I’ve had a lot of shit jobs. I was once a professional bowler, English “tosser”. You know what “tossing” means? To jerk off. So I was a professional wanker.
What?
No, it just sounds funny. I have worked in a salad factory. My job there was to throw the leaves into the air and to check whether there are spiders. Or moths. And if I found some, I put them in a small bag so they die. That was my job for a few summers.
Haha, oh God.
C: Once Pete and I worked for a company that sold windows. We called people, names taken from the phone book, and every time the boss left the room, I called a customer and said, “Hey, I used to live in that house, you know this place behind the stove? Since two thousand US dollars are hidden there. They are yours.“ I have done that so often, I now feel terrible, people disassembled their kitchens, and I, on the phone: “I cannot talk for long, I’m calling from prison, two million, in the wall in the jutty. I have to go. “I wonder if they really destroyed their homes.
I think I’ve heard enough …
C: And I am still thinking about what my favourite porn film is the entire time. Thank you.

SOURCE! translated by this lovely lady

Perfect 😂