missoneminute:

Oh man so many. I could go on for days but these stand out to me off the top of my head:

1. The tea story – Carl having a jealous fit and interrupting Peter’s make out session with his girlfriend by angrily making tea and cursing.
2. The door slam – When Carl turned up to see Peter after ages apart and drunkenly brought Anthony with him so Peter slammed the door in their faces in a jealous rage.
3. The turban tale – Carl split his chin open jumping on a street sign the night of the freedom gig, Peter wanted to go in the ambulance with him but was being too rowdy and then Carl refused to be stitched unless the nurses brought him a turban.
4. The busking story – When they were busking for beer money on Waterloo bridge and Steve’s false teeth fell out and sent some Japanese girls running down the street screaming.
5. The top to tail – When they shared a single mattress and one morning Peter claims Carl woke with Peter’s “massive boner in his face” and “couldn’t stop talking about it”.
6. The Jaffa cakes – Carl went to see Peter in prison and brought him two packets of Jaffa cakes but Peter had been transferred to a different jail so Carl sat there eating them by himself in the prison waiting room.
7. Morocco – When Peter burst into tears during an interview because Carl wouldn’t go on holiday to Morocco with him.
8. The fancy flip phone – Carl smashed his own brand new fancy flip phone in a rage during a fight with Peter because Peter wanted them to go to Paris together and Carl didn’t wanna go.
9. The vertical smile – Peter rather graphically describing staring at Carl’s bare ass while they were both shagging girls in a loo.
10. The threesome – Peter’s ex Katie Lewis aka the Katie of What Katie Did describing a threesome she had with Peter and Carl after a wasted night out. She’s low on detail but CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE. Like seriously.
11. The cinema screaming – Peter running around the cinema where he worked screaming like a banshee being chased by his female flatmate after stealing her cheques.
12. The break up kiss – After Peter split with Francesca he and Carl saw her in the street and she ran over to them and snogged Carl.
13. The jealous rant – It was one of many but Peter logging on to the forums complaining that everyone wanted to blow Carl “thrice a morning” was a spectacular tantrum.
14. The bed tying – Look it’s horrible they fought so hard but Carl solving an argument by literally tying Peter to his bed is just madness.
15. The shoe theft – Peter stole Carl’s shoes and Carl was so angry he went barefoot rather than borrowing someone else’s pair.
16. The naked cycle – That time Peter cycled naked back to the tour bus through the streets to try and get to a girl before Carl hooked up with her but failed to make it in time and was forced to watch them snog for hours instead. Also he had no clothes because the girl he had been with had locked him naked in a bathroom.
17. Arcadia and back – When Carl took Peter to his mother’s house and showed him the “wild woods” and “took him to Arcadia and back”.
18. The sniffer dog – Carl arrived in Japan for their tour utterly wasted and mistook a Beagle that was actually a drug detection dog as some kind of Japanese airport welcoming dog and thought it was the cutest thing ever so he sat there patting it while it sniffed him.
19. The poetry competition – Peter’s story about Carl drunkenly dragging him out of his tour bus bed in the middle of the night to have a typewriter poetry showdown and saying, “Everyone says you’re a great poet. This is poetry!” Then presenting Peter with a line Peter claims he actually wrote.
20. What a Waster – The indie amnesty tweet that claims Carl played What a Waster over and over to The Strokes while telling them he is the one who actually wrote it.
21. “I’m a poet!” – It’s ultimately a sad story of them having an awful row but Peter weeping, “I’m a poet!” to a police officer is just so Peter.