missoneminute:

missoneminute:

Shit Carl said last night.

Sorry this is a long post, can’t make a cut on mobile. He sat around with us all for close to two hours.

– He complained that his Alexa won’t listen to him when he asks for Rocky Horror B-sides. Literally he said, “Alexa, play Rocky Horror b-sides” followed by a disgruntled mumble.

– Professed his fondness for the musical Chicago and Les Misérables and treated us to a few bars from it. Then he kept saying “you know, Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman!” Followed by impression of his singing in the movie.

– @punk-rat am I crazy or did he say his favourite movie was Repo Man when you asked? Haha

– Had a long philosophical discussion with @punk-rat about how we are all dust particles or some such but you have to ask her about that since I mostly heard mumbling haha.

– He visibly wasn’t particularly happy when he was asked about Peter which mercifully only happened two times. A guy asked him, “How do you do it with Pete?” And Carl replied, “Do what?!?”” When the kid clarified he meant how do they get along, he said, “He’s my best friend,” and while they had “ups and downs” that it’s going well “Pete’s great” and “We’re all healthy.” He struggled to answer it and spent way longer trying to formulate an answer than it deserved, bless.

– A guy asked him to write one of his own lyrics that meant a lot to him on his arm to get tattooed. Peter had done “clever ain’t wise” on the other arm, and Carl spent ages deciding what to do. He kept going to do it and changing his mind. Wish I remembered to ask the guy what he eventually chose.

– He really, really cares about Neighbours. Like no joke he reallllly wants to find someone who’s receptive to his Neighbours rant because he just keeps bringing it up unprompted. He knows which characters lived in what houses, which characters lived in the same houses as other characters, where Ramsey street is, where the fictional suburb of Erinsborough is, and he wanted to visit and see them filming, as well as go to Lasseters, but they aren’t open weekdays. He was not joking.

– He asked how long the flight to Brisbane is and when he found out it was two hours, “Why do I have to be up at five in the morning?” Seeing as he was uproariously singing with a bunch of fans outside a bar at 2am I think it will be more of a kick on than a “wake up”.

– He said he mostly gets his groceries from the Tesco down the road but used to like Marks and Spencer so there you go haha.

– Also explained he once sent himself a box of pasties from Japan and remains surprised they “all arrived rancid”.

– Apparently uses saucers to rest his cigarettes on or else “you have to put your cigarette in the tea.”

– Knows a wild amount about Australian pop culture and does an absolutely scarily accurate Australian accent which frankly … is a change from most of his other accents. The highlight being when someone offered him $2 for a cigarette and he said, “What dya think I am, povo?” Which is a very chavy Aussie colloquialism for “poor.”

– On that note he said they’d changed the lyrics to I Get Along that night to say, instead of “fuck ‘em” to “wrack off!” Which is the most retro Aussie swear ever. Most of the crowd didn’t catch it haha so glad he explained.

– Had a big old Aussie hat on and kept saying “I’m Mick Dundee” and “That’s not a knife!” Some girl tried to write the quote (which she’d gotten wrong) on his arm but wrote “Bogan No.1” (bogan is basically Aussie for chav) and he said, “Well that’s better than your misquoted Dundee line”.

– To me: “If I had a penny for every present I’ve gotten in Brighton”.

– Said they’d gotten a few days off and went to Bondi Beach in Sydney. He said he saw a sign that said something about being yourself, I think, and he really liked it but that night he had a really weird dream about a Scotsman yelling about a pedophile.

– At one point cried out, “who touched my bum!” And said added that he didn’t want “a #metoo situation.” And he does the hashtag with his fingers FYI because for some reason he mentioned metoo three times.

– Asked where he’d like another tattoo. Said, “On me bum”. Pants tragically stayed on.

– Speaking of underpants he had these kind of orange/pink underwear on that kept sliding out of his jeans. (Jokes were made regarding him and Peter sharing underpants though not to his face ha).

– Was asked what fragrance he wears and he insisted he doesn’t wear any. “Why do I smell?” he asked and sniffed his armpits in his leather jacket, ha. The girl insisted she smells something on him and he said “Lynx Africa” with expert comedic timing. Then went on to again insist he doesn’t wear anything (he’s said before he does so … I dunno what the deal is). However he explained “when I get an ear infection it smells of fish” (why Carl why!) but “that hasn’t happened in a while”.

– I asked him what the first movie playing on stage was and he said, “I don’t know. But it was a good one! I was concentrating on the crowd. And you should have been concentrating on the performance!”

– A girl said she’d loved the Libs since she was 16, and someone mistook her for being 16 and Carl said, “16? I’m not Rolf Harris”.

– Added wistfully: “I was 16 once”.

– Asked if we’d watched the news then recounted what our Prime Minister was up to in a really bang on Aussie accent.

– Was utterly enamoured with a lighter he’d been given that had a little dog on it wearing bunny years. At one point he kissed it and said something along the lines of it being delightful. I’ve never seen a man enjoy a dog lighter more.

– Pretty sure he mentioned Edie’s parents are Australian (which would explain a lot. Also keeps calling her his girlfriend).

– Someone wanted to draw a tattoo for him to get on his arm and he said “unless it was my girlfriend’s name” he’s not allowed another.

– Kept threatening to write out Razorlight for every single person who asked for a Libertine tattoo (easily ten people did). The Razorlight joke got a verrry dedicated run.

– Drew a bunch of crap on one girl’s arm including a swastika and she said she was going to get it tattooed and he rather dramatically stated, “Oh don’t do that sweetheart. You don’t want that. Nooo, let me do another one”. Then he wrote her out some stuff on the other arm.

– A dude came up with his rather attractive girlfriend and Carl asked, “is that your missus?” And then added, “you’ve done alright” which left those two those kids very flustered haha. Someone joked that the boy was punching above his weight and Carl gently assured him he was a handsome lad.

– Said they’d all really been enjoying Australia and that it’s really fresh and everyone’s been really nice.

– A girl showed him her Libertine tattoo, he wrinkled his nose at it and said, “Was I drunk?”

– Jessie and I mentioned seeing him the night before and he said, “I was pretty drunk” to which there was a chorus of, “We know!” He made that awesome face he makes when he’s mocking being wildly offended.

– He kept going on about a drink called diesel, I think it was, which was from memory: a quarter can of Stella, half a can of cider, two shots of vodka, two shots of absinthe, and some port. Girl from the bar we were sitting in front of said she’d make him one and he declined because it would kill him.

– I’ve posted elsewhere what he said about the gift I gave him. But will add he recounted the plot of a silent him about a man chasing a penny “and he ends up in a brothel at one point?” He also said he’d been alone in Margate in quite bad weather when he watched it and “it was a bit like The Shining”.

– Said the kettle was broken at the hotel and I said oh no tea, and he piped up, “Oh I’ve fixed it now!” like he was rather proud ha.

– If I think of more will add it!

Reblogging to add:

– A girl asked if Peter was single and Carl paused then said, “Well that’s subjective”.

– Carl kept tapping his top row of teeth and saying, “These ones are all fake. These are all fake!” Like we hadn’t noticed. Then he added, “I have the same orthodontist as Jodie Foster. She’s never there when I go, though,” and made a glum face.

– He talked about meeting Nick Cave and said he was an Aussie legend, though, “I was quite drunk and he wasn’t, so it was a bit embarrassing”.

– Didn’t know or didn’t want to say what airline they’re flying (chartered jets I would imagine?) so he said they’re, “Taking the crim bus”.

– He said something had bitten him and showed us two puncture marks on his wrist, @bergamotandbiggles @punk-rat do you remember what he said it was? Please tell me it was a koala.

– A girl asked for Libertine to be written on her arm in biro because she “wanted something skinny” and Carl replied, “If you want something skinny, have John”.

– A guy asked for Libertines on his arm with an S and Carl said “you don’t want the S!” But he did it anyway. After a second of grumbling over it Carl drew two lines through the S. “Now it’s a dollar sign,” he said.