michaeltownley:

a list of “it’s always sunny” lines that made me laugh at inconvenient times

• i do a back flip every single day of my life
• BECAUSE DENNIS IS A BASTARD MAN
• your hair looks small
• dee you gangly, uncoordinated bitch. i am not getting hogtied due to your lack of grace
• i want you to get off with me
• did you fuck my fucking mom, santa claus?!
• the ‘psycho pete returns’ intro 
• WILD CARD, BITCHES
• what do you think is happening right now?!
• MY MOMMY, MY MOMMY’S A SKELETON
• “dude, do you have a boner right now?” “shut up, man, don’t ruin this for me.”
• ghouls
• i will set you on fire like the last bitch that crossed me
• DON’T BRING JAMIE NELSON INTO THIS
• hello fellow american. this you should vote me. i leave power. good. thank you, thank you. if you vote me, I’m hot. taxes, they’ll be lower… son. the democratic vote is the right thing to do philadelphia, so do.

• …Did I see you bang that thing?