Neural networks are a type of computer program that mimic the way human brains learn. Unlike traditional computer programming in which a programmer invents rules for the program to follow, neural networks have an amazing ability to intuit their own rules about datasets simply by examining them.
Given a dataset with enough examples, a neural network can learn the sounds and letter combinations that make a band sound metal, or a tune sound Irish, or a creature sound like a Pokemon.
Then yesterday, I got an email from the Portland Guinea Pig Rescue. “Have you ever trained a neural network to generate guinea pig names?”
No, I hadn’t. In fact, I was fairly certain that this particular feat had not yet been tried in the history of machine learning research. Intrigued, I asked why.
It turns out that the Portland Guinea Pig Rescue often takes in many unnamed guinea pigs at once when they encounter hoarding situations, or sometimes they decide to rename a guinea pig to increase its chance of being adopted. They wanted to know if, given a list of typical guinea pig names (”Snickers”, “Pumpkin”, “Ginger”, “Rascal”, etc), a neural network could learn to generate more names. Yes, I said. Given a list.
The next day, I had a list. The Portland Guinea Pig Rescue gave me the list of every guinea pig they had ever rescued, the names of their own pet guinea pigs, and all the guinea pig names they could find online.
And that same day, I had an answer. Yes, despite having no concept of what these furry round rodents actually are, a neural network is indeed uncannily good at naming them.
Careful blog readers may notice that Buzzberry is actually an 80s action figure, while Fleury White and Stargoon are both paint colors. Portland Guinea Pig Rescue admitted that they liked some of the other neural network names as well. “I did just threaten one of our rowdy fosters with Stoomy Brown if he didn’t start behaving himself.”
They also named this guinea pig Princess Pow, one of my favorite action figure names:
I leave you with a list of guinea pig names invented by neural network, some pretty darn good:
Fufbey Spackles Atter Pie Dab Pugger P Snifket Fuzzable Fabsy Dilrus Gooper Rockass Bless Hanger Dan Nuzzy Spockers Mumkle Splanky Fubby Dandan
and some not so much:
Me Madly Mean Pot Mucky Fusty Fleshy Trickles Butty Brlomy Moonyhen Boooy Bho8otteeddeeceul
Remember, as soon as some of these very adoptable guinea pigs get their forever homes, the Portland Guinea Pig Rescue will be able to take in more guinea pigs and give them fabulous names.
Tag yourself, I am Fleshy 😂. That’s incredibly cool technology!
my grandfather is a residential school survivor. he literally has a BRAND of a number on his shoulder. he was a 6 year old child who was branded like a cow. he was given a new last name (he doesn’t even know his real last name) and was essentially brain washed into being white. the man, a full oglala lakota, doesn’t even call himself native anymore because he was beaten into being ashamed of it.
do yall wanna tell me why it’s okay for you to dress up and play “indian” whenever less than 70 years ago, we were literally beaten and killed for being indian?
Reminder that I (A 38 year old) was in high school while residential schools were still active in Canada. Even natives who did not get taken from their family and put in residential schools have lost their identity because of this practice. Many families chose to give up everything they had to keep their children from having to go to residential schools.
Our people survived genocide while white kids dressed up as people who weren’t allowed to dress as themselves. That’s why it’s fucked up.
reminder that the last residential school to close down in canada was in 1996, just a few months before I was born.
Question: she always goes home on the last train, but today you want her to stay over! What would you say?
Maruyama: I’d drop to the floor (dogeza) and say PLEEEEEEZE! Please don’t go home today! Just for a little bit! 5 more minutes! Because generally you can get your way with dogeza! I’ve never done it before though!
Nakama: Lead her to the train I usually take and say “today we take this one!”
Kriyama: I’m sorry! I wasn’t going to let you go home today!
You’ve been dating your partner for six months. Tonight they’ve invited you to a work event, and as you step onto the red carpet, you realize it for the first time: you’re dating a celebrity.
suchasinistergame 